A Day in the Life
5:30 a.m.: Wake up listening to Boo Boo “talking.” Do a happy dance that I only had to soothe him once during the night.
5:40 a.m.: Learn that hubby has a horrible headache. Give Boo Boo a bottle.
6:00 a.m.: Inhale coffee. Play.
7:00 a.m.: Shower and furiously get ready.
7:30 a.m.: Feed Boo Boo cereal and prunes (yep…tummy trouble). Pack diaper bag.
8:10 a.m.: Run out the door to the boy’s appointment to have his helmet checked. Knock over my travel mug and spill coffee on the car floor.
8:30 a.m.: Helmet check is all good.
9:00 a.m.: Lug heavy baby in heavy carseat into CVS. Discover that stupid CVS doesn’t have any baby apple juice (for the tummy trouble).
9:05 a.m.: Head over to the natural food store and spend $14 on four items, including organic apple juice for Boo Boo. Totally irritated about the expense. Will not be going back. Hit my temple on the car door while trying to heave the carseat into the base. Nearly cry from the pain.
9:10-9:30 a.m.: Spend twenty minutes on the phone holding for a nurse at the pediatrician’s office. Just want to know if regular apple juice is okay. Have to hang up before I even get to speak to a nurse. What the?!?!
9:30: Babytime at the library. Wake little dude up from his brief nap in the carseat. Set myself up for a difficult afternoon. Bugaboo has a blast during the singing and reading, then gets overwhelmed by the twenty or so kids playing and making noise. Meltdown ensues.
10:10 a.m.: Hop in the car with screaming boy and call the pedi’s office again. On hold during the entire drive from the Worcester Library to my house. Take the boy in, go to the bathroom, do odds and ends around the house, listen to boy screaming. Still on hold. Speaking to this nurse becomes a matter of principle. Also, I want to know how long it really takes to get a freakin’ human being on the phone.
10:45 a.m.: Speak to the nurse and discover I should’ve purchased baby apple juice. Awesome.
11:00 a.m.: Haul screaming baby (who now can’t nap) to Stop & Shop for baby apple juice. Car ride calms him down and he enjoys hanging in the Baby Bjorn looking at people. Scratch my head, wondering what the hell the difference is between regular people apple juice and baby apple juice. What a racket.
12:00 p.m.: Feed us somehow.
Blur, blur, blur…give apple juice in there somewhere. Hear really loud burp.
2:15 p.m.: Get boy to take a nap in his swing after a crying fit.
2:25 p.m.: Work phone call with a client.
3:00 p.m.: Bugaboo awakes. Has prune spit-up all over his shirt. Change his shirt. Give him a bottle.
3:15 p.m.: Something stinks. Change a gross diaper and remove gross shirt #2.
3:30 p.m.: Greet my friend and her son who arrive for our get-together. Bugaboo still sporting only his diaper.
3:40 p.m.: Appliance repair guy calls. Can come by the house to check out the washer.
3:45 p.m.: Boo Boo spits up bigtime. Doesn’t finish his bottle. Put him in shirt #3.
4:00-4:30 p.m.: Spend time with the appliance guy while my poor friend is stranded with both of our boys. Feel like a craptastic host. Start to think I should get a job as an appliance repair assistant with all the work I’m doing. Write a check.
4:30-5:00 p.m.: Enjoy my friend’s company…finally.
5:15 p.m.: Hubby comes home. Boo Boo eats his oatmeal and peas, which sounds so fantastically gross I can’t bear to think about it.
6:00 p.m.: Peel the nasty pea-stained, prune-stained overalls off his cute little butt. Clean helmet. Boo Boo gets a bath from Daddy. Pizza is ordered.
6:30 p.m.: Bottle for Boo Boo, who is practically comatose after eating.
7:00 p.m.: The boy falls asleep instantly in his crib.
7:01 p.m.: Inhale pizza. Dream about sleep.