Top Ten Reasons I Should Quit My Day Job
This is only my third post of the week, but I have a good reason. I was sick. On Wednesday morning, I awoke with one thought and one thought only: I’d do anything to call in sick. And that’s when it hit me. Holy crap. I can’t call in sick. What the hell? No sick days? What kind of racket is this stay-at-home mom business? So yeah, it got me thinking. In the business world, this job would so never fly. No way. What kind of sucker sacrifices sick days?
So here you have it…the top ten reasons I should quit my day job as a stay-at-home mom.
10. No sick days: Need I say more? Unless you’re willing to let the midgets fend for themselves, wipe your nose, pop some meds, and sweat it out.
9. No personal days: Nothing is personal anymore, not even peeing.
8. No vacation days: Mother’s Day so does not count, unless said mother is away…by herself…on an island…with margaritas and an on-call massage therapist.
7. No health insurance: This clearly isn’t necessary, as you will not be getting sick.
6. No retirement plan: Who needs to retire? You’ll always be a mom.
5. Staff insubordination: The underlings ignore you and do what they want in spite of your endless pleas.
4. Lack of professionalism in the field: Apparently they let anyone breed these days…no experience necessary…no degree required.
3. No room for advancement: Job title remains the same. No such thing as “Coordinator of Goods Procurement,” “Senior Executive Bum Wiper,” or “Vice President of Home Operations.” You get the idea, though I’m now considering getting creative when someone asks me what I do. Might be time to update my LinkedIn profile.
2. Inconsistencies in professional development: Everyone has an opinion and everyone has written a book. No one agrees with each other.
1. No salary: Oh sure, salary.com is cute about this. Each year they come up with an estimated salary a mom would make based on her common job functions. This year, the figure is $122,732. But I ask you — how much of that do I see?