Peas Out Mama

blogging about life in the mama 'hood

Baby Daggers

Give me your poopiest diaper or your boogiest nose (pretty sure this isn’t a word, but again, it really should be). Messy bathtime? No problem. Cleaning ears? Got it covered. Projectile spit up? Wearing it. I can handle it all. Except, that is, the baby daggers.

Those damn fingernails keep me up at night. They scratch. They claw. They’re out to get me. In theory, the solution is simple: Clip the suckers. Can’t. I’ve drawn blood. Now I know everyone says they draw a little blood. That’s normal, right? But how about always drawing blood? Not normal. Not nice. This past weekend, I felt like I was in a bad episode of Grey’s Anatomy. (Is there any other kind? And yet, I can’t stop watching.) Thought I’d have to take Peanut to the ER for some stitches. So no, the clippers are out. I’ve been using the file, but not only does that take, um, forever, but when you have the feistiest baby on the planet, it’s a two-person effort with a distraction bottle. And even that doesn’t stop him from squirming his way out of his baby mani. I’ve got the battle scars to prove it. And holy crap, those nails grow! Seriously, is the kid taking prenatal vitamins on the sly?

So here’s my idea, and steal it if you wish. Someone should come up with a salon for babies. I want to drop him off and pick him up with perfectly manicured digits and piggies. This I would pay for, because I’ll know full well that the manicurist earned every last penny. So yes, this is my least favorite baby care task. I absolutely hate it. My husband and I practically have to go into negotiations over who’s holding him down and who’s going in for the surgery. Did I mention I hate it? So give me your poop, your snot, your whatever. But please, keep the baby daggers away from me.

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5 thoughts on “Baby Daggers

  1. Lisa Feeney on said:

    That is the one thing i HATE!! I have Micheal do it… I cant tell you what I do cause you would be digusted with me!!! Since Ericka was born 9 years ago I have never clipped their nails!!

  2. jrfrong on said:

    My most dreaded task—-I’m a total wimp loser and make Rick do it. I wimped out shortly after JP was born and just completely lost it and abdicated any responsibility for it, which made me feel like a bad mommy on some level, but seriously, something had to give. I’m glad to know I am not alone! Maybe Rick should start a baby salon since he’s pretty good at it? You might be onto something!

  3. Bridget on said:

    I’ve done it while they were sleeping but also while they were riding in the carseat. They were distracted AND already strapped in. Obviously you need to sit next to him and have Fred drive ( no bumpy roads!) but it really does work quite well. I tried the highchair which worked with a few of my kids but sitting still wasn’t nearly as distracting for some of them. Lastly, in a few more months those claws won’t be so thin or flexible and will definitely be easier to clip quickly, so hang in there!

  4. I just clipped my little guys nails this morning- I was tired of getting scratched. He was pretty cooperative for the whole thing. For some of the squirmier ones, I think I did it while they were sleeping. I had one who never needed his nails clipped- I think he would peel them himself.

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