The Great Butternut Squash Incident of 2009
Date: November 26, 2009 (Thanksgiving Day)
Location: Cutchogue, NY
Scene: Parent (ahem, Mommy) decides that fresh, homemade butternut squash would make a fabulous Thanksgiving baby food treat for her little guy. Mommy boils squash to perfection and removes two cubes to cool. Mommy then mashes squash, but sensing it’s still too much texture for her munchkin, adds a little Similac, mashes some more, and a yummy lunch is prepared. (Just call me Betty Crocker). Mommy hands bowl of squash over to Daddy for feeding.
Daddy [scooping up a spoonful of culinary masterpiece]: Here you go, buddy.
Boy eagerly prepares his chompers for lunch and takes squash into his mouth. Boy grimaces and promptly uses his tongue to push food out of his mouth.
Daddy [only mildly discouraged]: You don’t like it?
Boy makes certain not to swallow any bit of food and continues to stick out his tongue, disgusted.
Daddy [making a second attempt]: Here you go. Try it again.
Boy shakes his head back and forth: Hell no!
Daddy [to Mommy]: I don’t think he likes it.
Mommy: Really? He’s had squash before. That’s weird. Let me try adding more formula to make it mushier.
Daddy [handing the bowl over]: Okay.
Mommy mixes more formula into the squash and hands the bowl back to Daddy.
Daddy makes a third attempt.
Before Daddy can get the spoon anywhere near the Boy, Boy takes both hands and crosses them in front of his mouth: What’s wrong with you?! Did you not get it the first time?! I will not be eating your foul excuse for food. Now give me my Earth’s Best Organic Carrots, dammit!
Dismayed and defeated, Mommy finds the jarred baby food. Boy happily laps it up. What’s even more pathetic is that Boy is perhaps the least picky eater this Mommy has ever seen. He even eats green beans and spinach, for cryin’ out loud. The only other food he’s ever refused is Earth’s Best Summer Vegetable Medley (which totally tastes like dirt–dirt, I tell you). Is he trying to say that my squash tastes like dirt? Snob. This is totally why I don’t cook. Well, not really, but it’ll be a good excuse for a few more weeks.