Peas Out Mama

blogging about life in the mama 'hood

Can We Talk About Food (Again)?

I can’t be the only first-time mom who obsesses about food, can I? No seriously, can I? Help a sister out here.

So here’s the deal: My ten-month old monkey is a baby food snob, as in, will pretty much only eat pureed baby food that comes in a container. Here are a few minor exceptions: Cheerios, puffs, bread, cheese (if melted between bread, but not otherwise), yogurt, and veggie meatballs (go figure on that one). He’s supposed to be eating all this table food now, right? Or so the docs tell you. Well, he grimaces at the taste of real banana and spits it out, throws real peas on the floor, is disgusted by my homemade purees, and scoffs at all forms of pasta (clearly not yet the proud Italian boy I’d hoped to raise). He’d prefer to eat baby oatmeal for dinner every night if given the choice . What’s worse, most of this dismissed food is organic. Organic, I tell you! The audacity! Today he was even so bold as to hurl a few rejected puffs (apparently because they were broken) onto the floor. Total snob. Does he not understand there are starving children in the world?! Does he not understand that daddy works hard so he can eat organic and we can slum it with grilled cheese and pancakes (though not at the same time)?

What’s worse is that little monkey is cursed with a vegetarian mom who hates to cook (and therefore, doesn’t). You thought I was kidding about that grilled cheese? Pair it with some pre-made soup and you’re good to go. Voila! Dinner is served! A friend (you know who you are) suggested giving the boy avocado. Sounds like a good idea, right? Oh sure, if I knew how to pick out an avocado! Wish I’d thought of that before hitting Trader Joe’s (organic, you know). I assure you, no avocado has ever entered my home (childhood home or otherwise). I don’t even know what to do with an avocado. I’ve never eaten avocado. I wouldn’t be surprised if monkey spit the avocado right at me, but I’m willing to take the chance. But what if he doesn’t like it? I ask my friend. Make some guacamole, she replied. Um, yeah, right. I’ve tasted guacamole once in my life. Once. Just throw some onions in it or whatever you have in the fridge. She has totally never seen my fridge. Onions? Fruits? Vegetables? I’m lucky I’ve got milk in there. Just call me a bachelor. And now I’m supposed to feed a baby? Please, oh please, don’t call DSS.

Oh, and I’m somehow supposed to get him to feed himself with a spoon? Yeah, like I don’t have enough to worry about. And as if I’m not already OCD, I need to have my kid flinging gobs of oatmeal and pears (organic pureed from a jar, of course) at me. Um, yeah. No thanks. I’ll fully relinquish the spoon when I’m good and ready, and he’s saying Mom, seriously, I’m ten years old. Give me the spoon already. And he’s supposed to be off the bottle by about a year old? Why…because he’s so skilled at the sippie cup? And what’s the deal with the sippie cup anyway? Exactly how is that miraculously different from the bottle? Are these doctors and “experts” concerned that somehow I will raise a child who will never drink from a cup or learn how to feed himself? Will the other kids tease him on the playground? Will he require years of therapy because mommy fed him well into his first year? Will he sit at the high school cafeteria table completely baffled by the fork sitting in front of him?

I’m the poor sap who needs the therapy. Of that, I’m sure.

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9 thoughts on “Can We Talk About Food (Again)?

  1. I have no clue how to pick out an avacado either. Rick buys them for the boy and I’m like, “Wha? Get that green slime away from me, yo!”

  2. Oh Freddie, why don’t you eat for your Mama? At least I don’t feel bad that Ethan hates all food! And we even feed him Gerber and Beech Nut – Gasp!!!

  3. Lisa Feeney on said:

    hahahaha… this one is hysterical… I think it is one of my favorites.. I can just picture you!!

  4. Pingback: Tweets that mention Can We Talk About Food (Again)? « Peas Out Mama -- Topsy.com

  5. Hahahahaha- Is all I can say. Don’t worry, we won’t call DSS. ( yet)

    Ain’t ( does it give you heart palpitations that I used this word ?) with grilled cheese. I have been known to make gourmet grilled cheese for dinner with soup. We love it.

    Oh I hear you with the whole spoon bit. I got Bay this strange contraption from Sassy that looks like a double ended spoon and one of these days I am going to let him use it for real with actual food, not just air.

  6. Bridget on said:

    Girl, you are very funny! Really, I laughed right out loud. You totally know what you’re doing, you just have to keep at it and do what you think is best.

    And the following few things are not advice, more just thoughts I had while reading about my kids when they were younger. Wyatt went through a period of refusing baby food and not wanting any real food at about 10 months old. I freaked a little and then just let him eat what he liked over & over again. And then, one night as I was eating dinner he wanted the spinach I was eating and he ATE IT! SPINACH as his first non pureed veggie. But in the meantime, he would do the grilled cheese and I actually used to mash up a little avocado or tomato and put in in the middle to get him something more. Just a little of it though otherwise he would’ve known! Veggie chicken nuggets were a favorite for all my kids.

    You do know that Carey ate cereal for dinner for about 2 years, right? That was our one option if we didn’t like what was for dinner and I kid you not, it ‘s mostly what she ate.

    And the spoon thing? I gave my kids one and I used the other. I let them dip it once or twice but otherwise I fed them b/c the mess was more than I was willing to deal with, also. there all able to use a spoon now, too. But listen, now this mom of 4 has to go see why her youngest will just not go to sleep today. So maybe you shouldn’t listen to me at all! 😉

    • peasoutmama on said:

      Okay, but you had spinach in your house. In my world, spinach comes from the local pizza shop. It’s wedged between absurd amounts of cheese and comes in calzone form. Sounds like I need to branch out a little more! Thanks for your thoughts–big help!

  7. I was able to read this on my Blackberry, I’m very impressed!
    I love avocado, eat them all the time. Jocelyn, however is not a fan. She was also a jar snob & would eat only pureed peas until long after it was socially acceptable. If fact she ate most jarred food much longer than most kids do. She is a good eater now. I think she has even gotten over the hummus incident of ’06.

    • peasoutmama on said:

      Ha–I’m not sure Freddie will get over the hummus incident of ’10, either! They can commisserate together (in therapy, of course).

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