Win up to $10,000 from Pampers and Cheerios for educational expenses
This was the actual subject line of an email I received from the Pampers Gifts to Grow program. Summary: Gifts to Grow is a points program. You buy Pampers products, go to their website, wait a really long time for it to upload, enter the codes on said products, wait some more, and get points. Accumulate like 1000 points and you can “cash” it in for a small toy.
Let’s talk real numbers. I bought a box of 128 Pampers recently; the purchase got me 72 points. Add that to my previously accumulated points and I now have 683 points. Four hundred points can get me a free box of Cheerios. And did I mention this is the slowest. website. ever? I don’t know why I do this.
Anyway, before I even opened the email, I laughed out loud. Really. This is just funny on so many levels. Pampers and Cheerios, you are total cheapskates. Ten grand? Are you freakin’ kidding me? Mama did a little informal research and learned that if Boo enters college at the traditional age, he’ll enter in 2027, at which time, according to Motley Fool’s calculator, a four-year college education will cost $215,000 on average. I don’t know how accurate these figures are or whether they include housing, but Mama saw a 2 leading a six-figure number with a dollar sign in front and nearly went into cardiac arrest. Ten grand, Pampers and Cheerios? Seriously? What’s ten grand? The meal plan for his first year? You. are. so. cheap. Mama’s research team (Marie) uncovered that Procter & Gamble netted 13,436M in 2009. Millions. Of dollars. Thanks for the ten grand. And we know it’s not even ten grand, because Cheerios (you go, General Mills) is in on this gig, too. I love that Cheerios is a “partner,” as if General Mills isn’t quite forkin’ up as much cash as P&G.
Also loving that the official rules say that no purchase is required. Lies. Remember those points? You have to cash in 30 points for each contest entry. Allow me to apply some old school GRE logic to this scenario. If you must use points to enter the contest, and you must purchase Pampers products to earn points, it necessarily follows that a PURCHASE IS REQUIRED. C’mon Pampers, don’t be thinkin’ we mamas didn’t done get schooled.
It’s not that I don’t love Pampers. They’ve been good to me. I don’t exactly get the allure of Cheerios, but whatever. A whole nation can’t be wrong, right? But I’m feeling a little insulted. I need to use thirty points per entry to a contest that may win me ten grand for my kid’s education expenses? Did I mention cheeeeap? Ridonkulous.
But alas, you better believe Mama’s cashin’ in those points for entries. Do I look like I got ten grand kickin’ around?