The Day Technology Saved My Ass
That day? That’d be today. I’m normally a pretty organized person. I know where my stuff is and what I have to do. Normally. A couple of months ago, I received a letter from the Registry of Motor Vehicles indicating that in order to renew my license (oh joy), I’d need to rectify a wee bitty error. Apparently, the RMV’s info and the Social Security Office’s info weren’t matching up. What? How is that even possible? Well, I had to wait on hold for forty minutes with the RMV to find out. Let me tell you the response (in summary): four years ago when I renewed my license, I had married my husband a month earlier, thus prompting a name change, and while my new name appears on my current license, the computer automatically generated the letter. No, I don’t get it either. If you think too hard about it, your brain will hurt. Really, stop thinking about it. I was assured I’d encounter no problems renewing my license.
So I waited. And waited. Until today. You see, Mama’s birthday is in a few days (turning thirty-something again and will be for quite a while in my own mind, because truth be told, I’m more likely to reside in an assisted living facility before my son graduates from high school and that just freaks me out). Anyway, impending birthday and that stupid license remained unrenewed.
I held visions of horror: Boo and I at the RMV waiting, then waiting some more. And after that, we’d wait. And then he’d whine, yell upupupupup and mamamamamamama and then we’d wait and he’d cry because he’d be overtired from all the waiting. And somewhere in there, I’d want to punch someone, but I’d hold back because I’m generally a good person.
Allow me to rewind to last night when Boo woke up at 11:30 for no good reason, drank his milk, and went back to bed. (He usually does this around 3:00ish, which still sucks, but whatever). And then Boo decided it’d be good idea to wake up at 4:30. After listening to some crying, I went to check on him and right away he set me straight as I’d not arrived properly. “Mik, mik, mik!” he screamed. Seriously, he wanted more milk. Frantic, I lugged screaming Boo to the kitchen for more milk. My husband and I took shifts, gave some Motrin for the crazy teething, and little Boo wouldn’t fall back asleep until 6:20. This is the same kid strangers say is such a happy baby, and add that I’m so lucky to have such a happy baby. Yup, so lucky. Nothin’ but happy around here.
This morning, Mama was feelin’ and lookin’ a little rough. Sweats, no make-up, wet hair thrown up in messy ponytail. Pretty hot. No way in hell I was schleppin’ Mr. I-don’t-wanna-sleep to the RMV for a predictably brutal experience. So I did what any desperate mom does: I got online.
And there…right there online…all became right again in the world. I…(I’m choking up here)…I…renewed…my license…online. Holy s#^* — I didn’t know that was possible! But it is! It totally is! I didn’t even have to leave the house. Or have a new photo taken, which I’m really glad about because I actually like my license photo and believe me, I know how rare that is and I don’t take it for granted. And I paid online and they’re mailing the new license to me. At home. To me. Just for me. And I love you, RMV. I’m so sorry I ever talked smack about you. You and your newfangled technology rock my world because you saved this mama’s ass today. And I hope that by sharing my ass-saving, mamas everywhere will have their asses saved too. And you know what? That’s about all the joy-spreading I can muster today.
I know, I know. I change lives.