Peas Out Mama

blogging about life in the mama 'hood

Stuff I’ve Learned from Pottery Barn Kids

Let me start by saying that I’m not out to d’iss PB Kids. I love PB Kids. I even own a few PB Kids items. Not enough that they should spend so much dough sending me catalogs every day, but I enjoy the light reading.

I’d even go so far as to say I’d live in the catalog if I could. No joke, I’d pull up my pink kiddie Adirondack on the dock of my lakeside home, shielded from the sun by my pink polka dot mini-umbrella (because the big ones are just, well, too big), snuggle up with my coordinating outdoor throw pillow, and sip my cosmo from my (also pink polka dot) Klean Kanteen water bottle (with my name on it, of course). I’d cook on my pink stove (yes, I’d cook if I had a pink stove) and serve tea with my pink porcelain tea set. I’d sweat pink.

To take a break from the sun, I’d go inside to my perfectly organized playroom and choose from the myriad of educationally stimulating products my parents have selected. I’d paint. I’d read. I’d make selections from perfectly labeled bins — games, paper, and art — and briefly wonder whether my parents feared illiteracy.

Truth be told, life would be grand.

Alas, I don’t live in the PB Kids catalog and it’s not all fun and games. PB Kids is out to teach; and I’m here to learn. As a parent, there’s stuff I need to know and this, friends, is the go-to resource. And because I’m a good sharer — I’d have learned that in the catalog, too — here are my favorite lessons:

A rice krispy treats and cheese sandwich is a perfectly acceptable lunch option, but only if it’s shaped in my child’s initial. Also, when my child ineveitably loses his lunchbox at school one day, he will be emailed about its return. (Dear Reader, I tried so very hard to find this image for you. It’s really my favorite. If I should find it, or if you do and would be so kind as to notify me, I’d be thrilled to post.)

Children in the PB Kids catalog require no adult supervision. Ergo, if I shop PB Kids, my son will take care of himself. Done.

A theme can never be taken too far. If the kids who live in this room vomit stars and stripes, no one should be surprised. Just sayin’.

Conner Star Headboard

It is of the utmost importance that my child knows his name and how to spell it. Dire, even. Putting my child’s name on everything will eliminate any confusion he currently experiences.

I can never present my child with too many home organization options.

Boys' Collapsible Storage

I shan’t be fooled by paint colors like Blue Marguerite. I have an aunt named Marguerite. And she’s not blue. So there.

See, now, PB Kids schools me right.

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7 thoughts on “Stuff I’ve Learned from Pottery Barn Kids

  1. peasoutmama on said:

    Tough call on the pizza. Will have to run that one by the PB police. They may require a vegetable topping.

  2. ofthesea on said:

    I wish i could get this catalog in the deserted island where I live. It would make for great loo reading material, tho everyone outside would wonder what all the belly laughs are about.

    …so, is pizza for breakfast OK if it’s shaped in MY initials?

  3. Ugh I hear you. I almost threw up a little when I saw this seasons catalog. Really buckets labeled supplies?! Come on now. I don’t like all the matchy matchness of it all. But, people eat it up. Whatever happened to creativity?

  4. Yeah, I’m with Muffintopmommy on this one. What’s so strange with PBKids? My house is always perfectly organized and my children are punished without supper if they accidentally put “Toys” in the “Supplies” bin.

    Doesn’t everyone do this?

    Seriously, though. We have the PBKids table with four benches and it is too adorable. However, looking back, I should not have dropped so much coin on it because it is banged up and not so picture perfect anymore, courtesy of REAL kids (as opposed to the magazine kind) that beat it up with cars and toys.

    Sigh…if only life were a magazine…

  5. I really didn’t get this post. That’s what my house looks like.

    What?

    It does not look like gale force winds stormed thru my family room at witching hour. And I do not let the boys out with ketchup on their Target shirts. I swear.

  6. Kathianne on said:

    Are you sure she’s not blue?

    Did you also notice that the children in the catalogs are always dressed like they are about to go yachting and no matter what they are doing (painting, playing in the sandbox, swimming, taking a bath or just hanging out ) that they are never dirty and their hair is always perfect.

    • peasoutmama on said:

      Um, yeah. I almost added that I’d love to see a pissed off baby in a diaper and a grubby t-shirt with puree dried on his face, but it didn’t fit in with the whole “lessons learned” idea. : )
      And no, I guess I’m not totally sure she’s not blue.

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