Why Fisher Price and Oscar the Grouch May Need a Divorce
Damn me and my research. Like any kid, the boy loves his remotes (‘motes). We took the batteries out of our DVD player ‘mote and it’s been Boo’s toy ever since. Nevertheless, I started to think he needed an actual toy ‘mote…you know, ’cause there’s probably a reason real ‘motes aren’t sold in toy stores. Like maybe they’re choking hazards or something crazy like that.
In my search for the perfect ‘mote, I scoured Amazon, read reviews (oh hell yeah, type A), saw it in my local Target, and made my decision. Click. Added to my Amazon wish list. Boo wanted the Sesame Street Silly Sounds remote. Done.
Check it out. Super cute, right?
Okay, so the eyes at top are waaaaay creepy, but the rest is pretty slick, right?
Well, nana and grandpa got Boo the ‘mote for Christmas and in preparation for the drive home that very evening, we opened up the ‘mote and let Boo have at it. He was delighted, pressing buttons for the whole hour-long drive home. I heard faint voices rattling off numbers and little sayings — all not too loudly. Bliss! Ahhhh…Silly Sounds Remote, smooches to you!
Except — wait. Did my ears deceive me? Did I hear what I thought I heard? Wait. There it was again. What the hell?!
Check this out. It’s number three. Look at him. Friggin’ toy ruin-er!
Oscar the Grouch. I want to smack him (or the person at Fisher Price who decided to put him on this ‘mote). Just sayin’.
Let’s get old school for a minute. When you think Oscar the Grouch, what saying immediately comes to mind?
Right! I love trash! Exactly!
But no. This clown says Get lost! and then laughs this awful, sinister laugh.
Are you kidding me? Who’s bright idea was this? I mean, I know my kid is going to encounter negativity and crappy people in his life, but he’s not even two, Fisher Price! Cut him some slack. He need not learn life’s lessons before he can pee on a toilet on a regular basis. Oh wait, peeps. Did I forget to tell you the age range for this one? Lookie here.
See that? Bottom left-hand corner — 18M-4Y. For realsies? Get Lost?! For an 18 month old?!
It’s not like they didn’t have any other options for Sesame characters. Five of the buttons have objects on them for crissakes. So Fisher Price, allow me to offer up a few suggestions for replacement characters in case you need a little help from Mama. I’m a giver. How about, um, Big Bird?! Grover?! The Count?! I mean, this is a numbers-oriented toy after all. The Count would’ve been an appropriately educational choice.
Hell, you know what? I’ll meet you halfway. I’ll happily take I love trash.
You can keep your Oscar; that’s cool. Just don’t make him an ass. ‘Kay?