Peas Out Mama

blogging about life in the mama 'hood

Dear Itsy Bitsy Spider, Sorry About Your Folks

I’m gonna go out on a limb and confess. I’ve killed the Itsy Bitsy Spider’s parents. His brothers, sisters, cousins, numerous other kinfolk, and friends. Inside my house and out. (I swear, I keep a fairly clean house.) Dead. Scooped up in a tissue and flushed. Webs vacuumed up. Done. Later.

And all completed in stealth, hidden from my son. Because seriously, let’s talk about my son’s experience with insects. Let’s start with Itsy Bitsy himself. I have to give IB mad props; little guy is living the American dream. Knock him down and he’ll get right back up again. He’s the classic underdog and cute to boot. So what is Boo to think when mama goes around wiping out spiders?

This obviously speaks to a greater problem in our society. Why exactly do we glamorize bugs and other living things that gross me out? Humor me here.

On The Cat in the Hat, Mabel the spider teaches Nick and Sally about spinning her web and then teaches them how to weave. On yet another episode, a caterpillar named Mindy (a true Southern belle…what’s that about?) teaches them about making silk so Sally can fix her “swirly twirly princess dress.” Yup, they’re helpful, too. I could go on and on with examples from that show. On a fave episode of Curious George, George races worms. Yeah, I don’t get it either. He does it in the country; I’m thinking it’s a Maine thing. He goes so far as to take worms into the house and create a habitat for them. I know — it’s appalling.

For real when I see a worm, I flip out a little. If my kid so much as picked up a worm, I would flip out a lot. Because I am a wimp and entirely not fond of creepy, crawly, slimy things. Even fake ones. My three older brothers can attest to this. Let’s just say they had their fun with me. Frogs, turtles, you name it. Me no likey. I almost stayed home from school in the tenth grade on the day we were dissecting frogs (the final dissection in quite the series, I might add). Incidentally, my lab partner was an entirely unhelpful jock who was more skeeved out than I was. Useless dude.

I wouldn’t be surprised if I killed IB himself. I’m pretty sure I’ve killed all Ten Little Ladybugs. I try not to freak out too much in front of my son, but I can’t help it. I blame these damn shows and books for teaching my kid that these are benign creatures he should take into my house.

Little Miss Muffet, I am so with you, girl.


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10 thoughts on “Dear Itsy Bitsy Spider, Sorry About Your Folks

  1. Sarah Whiteman on said:

    Then I shouldn’t give you a personal tour of my vermicomposting house in the basement next time you’re over? 😉

  2. Yeah, insects/arachnids/centipedes have never been my thing… After owning this house, though, I’m proud to have risen from the screeching schoolgirl to the dominant bug-squasher. I’m with you, Michelle – I firmly believe that there is no reason for bugs to be in my house, nor should they expect any less than to be killed upon entry. Their territory is outside, and I will not disturb them there (except wasps/hornets – can’t take chances with those bastards).

    I definitely hear what you’re saying about the media glamorizing bugs to the youngsters. Hell, Bella’s whole bedroom was themed after ladybugs, so I even jumped on that bandwagon! But as cute as they’re made out to be, I still can’t help but see ladybugs as just a different colored creepy beetle.

    I managed to dodge the fetal pig dissection, but remember doing a frog in 7th grade and a cow’s lung in 4th grade. I think I must’ve been tougher then. It was at least before I became a sissy vegetarian. 🙂

    • peasoutmama on said:

      A cow’s lung?! For real?? And in the 4th grade? Y’all must’ve been some pretty advanced kids! And you know it’s funny because when I was writing this, I actually thought of Bella’s room!

  3. Too funny Michelle! I’m behind you 100% … with the exception of the ladybugs. I have them in an entirely different class. But keep up the good work with the spiders and worms. We won’t even talk about grubs!

    • peasoutmama on said:

      Okay, so are the ladybugs in a different class because they’re a wee bit cute and red? It’s the color thing, isn’t it?

  4. So as I was saying…ahem…my sister, the Buddhist, would say don’t kill the spiders. But I’m so with you. I’m afraid of them. Totally. I toasted one yesterday when Tommy looked away and felt guilty after. They way creep me out. I know that’s ridic bc I’m like 100,000 times the size of a spider, but I cannot help it. And the dissection? Awful. In college, I had to dissect a fetal pig. My lab partner was a friend of mine, and after class, we’d go to lunch. He totally busted my chops during pig dissection time, and ordered HAM sandwiches, and talked to the sandwich. He was all, “Heyyyy little piggy…sorry, but you’re so yummy. Nom, nom, nom!” Bastard!!! So whatever the boys bring home that’s creepy will never gross me out more than my unfortunate college pig stage!

    • peasoutmama on said:

      I so would’ve needed to smack that dude upside the head. Forget the fact that I’m a vegetarian — that’s just gross! But at least he was wimpy like my lab partner (whom you would, of course, know)! : )

  5. susan scholl on said:

    Love it !

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