Wow. I am the worst blogger ever. It’s like September and October never even happened. What’s worse? I had to log in to my blog account. It forgot me — which is kind of okay considering I forgot the freakin’ password to log in! Finally, on password #4, I hit it right. And I’m in! Weee! Except the blog posting format has changed and I’m feeling kind of lost. I typically and obsessively save my drafts for fear of losing a few words. (What’s that about anyway?) Now I can’t even find the “save” button. What the — ? I guess I’ll have to type fast and publish just in case the magic power outage fairy decides to wreak havoc. Don’t laugh; we’ve had our share of outages here in the Northeast US.
Truth is, I haven’t been particularly inspired. Oh sure, Boo says some pretty hilarious stuff of late. Turns out two-year-olds are a riot. And they absorb stuff like crazy. And have insane memories for random, seemingly unimportant facts. They’re sweet and give hugs and smooches. They have amazing imaginations and watching that unfold is totally fascinating. Boo does an uncanny impersonation of mommy (expressions and all) during play time. He could be a little less accurate.
But two-year-olds? Hell, they are their own breed of crazy. Damn. What with the whining and crying. The demands and obsessive fixations. Lordy. The mental gymnastics surrounding his bedtime routine are enough to send me to the funny farm. Mama dare not accidentally open the microwave to warm his milk. Hellz no. Flip-out. He must open it. And press the buttons. And close it. And then he has to take it and put it on the kitchen table, ensure Mommy and Daddy are sitting on the couch in the living room, and then go back to the kitchen to get the milk. Every.damn.night. Slip-ups are not tolerated. And that’s only a teeny slice of the antics. Whew — exhausting.
Rumor has it I’m not alone. And seriously, some days it’s just nice to hear about some other kid’s tantrum. Or lack of nap. Or bizarre fixation. Or sudden aversion to leaving the house. This? This is what helps keep me sane some days. Also naps.
Sometimes it’s easy to focus on the challenges, the frustrations, and the head games. But isn’t it amazing how one minute you think you might just lose your s*#% and the next you’re sitting in the “car” (play tent) getting buckled in by your two-year-old so he can “drive” you both to the bagel store (his room) and then order your favorite bagel? What? You don’t play bagel store? Anyway, it’s enough to make your head spin.
So back to this whole lack of inspiration thing.
Tonight while attempting to put jammies on Boo after his bath, he got super upset because apparently I didn’t sing the “jammy song” (don’t ask) properly. Aside: Still don’t know what I did wrong, but definitely did not meet his standards. After a few minutes of a fit, he finally let me put the jammies on. And then he came up with this doozy.
Him: “I have a baby in my belly.”
Me: “You do?”
Him: “Yeah. Wanna see?” Lifts up his shirt.
Me: “Oh.” Trying not to laugh.
Him: “Uh oh, it’s gonna hatch.”
Me: “It is?!” Really trying not to laugh, because it’s clear he’s taking this all very seriously.
Him: “Ya. You have a baby in your belly?”