Peas Out Mama

blogging about life in the mama 'hood

Giveaway! Clink!

Doesn’t giveaway look weird as a word? You know how you look at a word and you’re suddenly convinced it’s not written correctly? Giveaway. Yeah, that’s right. (I know because I looked it up. I’m anal that way. I can’t help myself.)

So yes, a giveaway! My first giveaway! Yippee!

I’m so psyched about this giveaway (how many times can I write giveaway in this post?) because I’ve had the pleasure of watching it grow from afar. In spite of facebook’s many ills (girl, puh-lease…don’t get me started), it’s gotten me back in touch with some very cool people. One of those people of coolness is a high school friend, Janet, whom some of you may know as Muffintop Mommy, blogger extraordinaire. It actually takes a lot to make me laugh and for real this chick has me LOLing with every post she writes. And I mean real LOLing, not that fake facebook LOLing. No joke, her blog is awesome, and I’m not just saying that. I don’t go around talking awesomeness. I’m kind of a pain in the ass that way.

Anywho…Janet has been plugging away at writing for years (all while in charge of three youngin’ sons she affectionately calls the frat boys). A while back, before she started her blog, she emailed me some of her essays and asked me to take a look. Hi-freakin’-larious.

Yadda yadda yadda (Seinfeld reference, anyone?)…she wrote a book! Dude — a book! I’ve had a sneak peek (how cool is that?) and I have a feeling y’all are going to love it. It’s called Mommy Mixology: A Cocktail for Every Calamity. See? Told you you’d love it. And you’ll love her, too…well, if you like a little sass in your frass. Otherwise, you’ll hate it and stop reading this post now.

So yeah, I’m giving away a copy of her book! It’s due out in August (so the winner will have to be patient), but here’s all you have to do to enter to win:

  • Leave a comment on this post describing your best worst parenting calamity. Nothing horrible or serious that will make me question a call to CPS or a therapy referral. Funny stuff, embarrassing stuff, gaffes, goofs, bring it on! Or…
  • Leave a comment on the Peas Out Mama facebook page doing the same. Comments should be posted under the link to this blog post.
  • Unless I am a friend of yours on facebook, please, please include a way to contact you should you be the winner!

That’s it! Super easy. I complicate my life in too many ways. This giveaway won’t be one of them. So how do you win? Make me laugh, make me smile. I’m picking the winner. Best answer wins. Hey, it’s my blog — I get to decide what’s funny. Am I right? Are we good? Cool!

I can’t wait to read these calamities. Because, let’s be honest, this is really an attempt to make me feel better about myself as a parent. Cheers! Clink.

***Deadline for entries is Wednesday, August 1st!***


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9 thoughts on “Giveaway! Clink!

  1. Kathianne on said:

    Know it’s a little late, but I fell asleep while putting the kids to bed and woke up @ 1am, so here it goes.

    Two things to know: (1) my kids live to eat cucumbers; and (2) despite the fact the boys are 4 & 3, they know that they were all born by C-section. Also, they have seen pictures of their sister being born via C-section thanks to their father.

    One day this summer, the 4-year old asks me if I want to see how babies are born. Curious as to what he would show me, I said sure. He proceeded to take a cucumber slice and stick his thumb through the seedy middle part and say “Look! This is his head coming out of his Mommy’s belly!” He finished by making his hand have 5 babies at the same time.

    My sister, the OB, responded simply, “Oh my God!”

  2. Jennifer Tharrett on said:

    When our daughter, Molly was two, my husband and I were very laissez-faire about showering/nudity in her presence. That all ended for my husband quite abruptly. One day, after he got out of the shower Molly asked “Why does Daddy have a tail?”. My very modest husband was mortified! After that, the bathroom door lock has been well used. (I told him he should be flattered by her question.)

  3. Kate on said:

    I think you know all of my good stories, so you should just pick your favorite and make me the winner. 😉

  4. So many calamities, so little time…I’d say the the one that sticks out most is nursing too-long. Not the Time Magazine cover with the mom nursing her teenager too long, but long enough that every citizen in the tri-county area saw my fun bags and you can count half of the country if you factor in plane rides. Bottles are not the devil – she said after her knockers now touch her knees.

  5. etel on said:

    Disclaimer: I have a very active 2.5-year old boy, a 9 month-old who still wakes up every two hours.

    It was one of those mornings, big, dark circles under my eyes, hair dramatically scattered all over my head, my two-year old nagging, the infant screaming louder, husband looking lost. Me, well, I am pretty much on autopilot at this point. I thought that I had completed all the necessary tasks of the morning: infant changed, fed and clothed. Lunches prepared. Coffee devoured. Work outfit completely clean, ironed and color coordinated. Both boys in their car seats. All 4 bags: work bag, daycare bag, lunch bag, pumping bag, securely stowed in the trunk of the car. Kiss husband good day. Waive to crazy parents from the second floor window and answer the dreaded question again, as I do, every freaking morning: “YEESSS, mami, they both are FINE, FINE, OKAY? FINE!”. I will have a FINE morning, I tell myself. What can possibly go wrong? So, I gingerly enter the daycare, as I do every morning. Cheery goodmorning to the daycare teachers who almost every morning return my pitchy “hi” with a very monotone “hello”. I try. Every morning. Even when wearing those lovely dark circles. So, I kiss Luke goodbye, put his lunch in the fridge, and baby in arms head to the infant room. I put Danny’s stuff in the fridge, happily hand him to his teacher, kiss him goodbye, close the door, enter my car, release a BIG sigh. Half of my day has just ended. When I return at noon to nurse Danny boy, the teacher looks at me funny. Oh, boy, I think. What now? Diarreah? Ear infection? Attachment issues? What???
    -Eteeel, she says, who changed the baby this morning??
    I pause. I remember there was a slightly strange smell in my car this morning. Should I reaally answer?
    -Ummhhh, my husband did?
    – Oh, hahhahah, that makes so much sense, she says looking validated. Did you know that we noticed a sour smell on Danny after you left?
    – Oh, yeah, I say, my voice trailing a bit
    – Yeah, ahhaha, he had shit ALL OVER HIS BACK! His diaper was clean, but, your husband forgot to clean his back. He had poop all way to his neck.
    -OH. MY. GOD. I say repulsed. He’ll never change the baby again!
    Yeah, I blamed it on my husband. I did.
    -Men! She says, shaking her head and then says. By the way, “he” also put swimming shorts on Danny. Hahahhaah.

  6. Mary Johnson on said:

    I am not yet a parent- however, I am a day care provider- so I have 2 kids under my care 40 hours a week. One morning I was changing a poopy diaper of my 8 month old day care boy when my 4 year old day care girl walked up to the changing table. She stood there for a moment and then asked me ‘What color is his poop?” I was sort of surprised by this, but I told her brown just like hers. She proceeded to stand on her tippy toes to get a better view- she then said “He has something different from girls- his sticks out.” I knodded in agreement with her and started putting the baby’s shorts back on. She then said, “Girls don’t have that- we have a butt in the front and in the back.” She then walked off to play and I realized sometime in the future someone will need to teach her what girls REALLY have.

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